Motherhood is…never being alone.
As I type this, I have a very curious 22 month old sitting on my lap hitting every key imaginable. Needless to say, that makes this whole writing thing….almost impossible. Almost (I am more stubborn…ahem, persistent than he is).
But I’m used to it. Why?
Growing up, I was a very modest girl.
Ya know in high school, when you would hafta change in the gym locker room? Yeah, this dork…ahem chick was a total pro at changing her shirt without anyone seeing her bra.
I mean … it’s my bra peoples. Don’t laugh…only my husband’s supposed to see that…sheesh. (insert comical-high-school-eye-roll-that-all-teens-are-pros-at here).
Shoo…up until I got married I was that way. It took me forever to be comfortable in front of my husband naked. Forget about burping, farting, and sneezing (ok I’m joking about the sneezing…but you get my drift).
I remember the first time I farted in front of my husband. The man was hysterical laughing. Not because I farted –but because I was horrified I did.
Oh, yeah – we roll mature style. All the time.
Anyhow, then I became pregnant. And as we all know, when you’re pregnant – you get a lot of unsolicited advice. Now as a first time mom…I completely ignored it. Cause I knew it all – of course.
Breastfeeding hard? Pa-hah! Making baby food from scratch is impossibly difficult? Psshh…they obviously don’t know what a great cook I am.
Oh how I could go on…
So, when I was pregnant with my monkey man, I was warned – say goodbye to your privacy. I thought – Psshhh….what do they know? I’m gonna get my privacy. They don’t know understand I always get my way.
And you know what? For the first 4-6 months of my son’s life, I got it. My husband would watch monkey man while I got dressed or went to the bathroom or ate or whatever.
Then…that changed. Drastically changed. Like 180 degree change. And quite honestly? I have no idea what the heck happened.
It just went away. My privacy was gone. I had a pair of eyes wherever I went. Bathroom, changing, eating – you name it there he was. Smiling away, happy as a clam. God forbid he lost sight of mommy for 5 minutes (in our very small apartment). It was hysteria to the millionth degree.
Ok…not really –but close enough.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I would joke that my son saw me in my skivvies more than my husband.
It’s not funny haha, but more like a funny, holy crap that’s true. Right?
It used to bother me, I mean – the kid is seeing me change. He’s seeing my ta-tas for goodness sake. For shame right? But I learned early on, if I want to get anywhere on time? Or really…get anything done? You go with the flow. Let the kid (or as I call him, my 5thappendage) stick with ya. Curious eyes, fingers and all.
Now, those who don’t have toddlers yet…I know what you’re thinking. “Why doesn’t she say no? Why doesn’t she claim her privacy back?” Well, for two reasons. One – pick your battles. Really, is it killing you or them to have them with you? Constantly? Never giving you a moment’s peace? And two – cause if you don’t … well then, you’ll get this face
…and the fake cry/whine thing.
Believe me – they will be pros at that right quick.
And if you think for one second: “That will never happen to me.”
Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.